Babies Everywhere

I've given up on the fact that I may be pregnant and not know it. I feel a little ridiculous about it. Oh well..... whata'ya gonna do.
Since my last period, over the weekend of my friend's wedding, I decided I was going to get serious about working out and getting this body in great shape for whatever my future holds.
I have been doing CrossFit at my own gym, as in the gym that I am part owner of. One of the things I seem to experience is during a tough workout, I have the knowing that it is causing my period to happen when it is nowhere near due. So, about a week and a half after my last period, I was doing a tough workout and afterward I knew there would be some bleeding. UGH! How am I supposed to get pregnant if I can't even figure out when I am menstruating or ovulating or whatever! Well, needless to say, it was just some heavy blood that night and nothing the following days but minor spotting.
It is difficult to do this when I can't get the hang of my own body. At least the app I'm using tells me pretty accurately when to expect my next period and I'm due tomorrow. Sunday was definitely a little  pms depression and today a little bit of cramping symptoms that tell me I can expect tomorrow to come as planned.

Saturday we were out in the city and all I kept seeing was young pregnant women. There seems to be a plethora of young ladies that are not having any trouble procreating. They all look so beautiful and happy and dreamy to me. They get to shop for maternity clothes and walk around and have people admire their youth and glowing state. Envy much? Uh.... duh.

This is tough. Not just not knowing when it's gonna happen.... but not knowing what the hell my body is doing. I scheduled an appointment for a ob/gyn that a friend recommended. Couldn't get one until August 15th. Yeah, almost 2 months away. The best part of the whole thing is that she doesn't "do" pregnancies. Wtf does that even mean? Isn't that what an ob/gyn is for?

The other thing is avoiding the entire month of May as a due date. My husband says, you'll have a baby when you have a baby.... but I am not about to join the competition between Mother's day, my mother-in-law's birthday and the birthdays of both my sisters-in-law's kids. They all literally come within a week or two of eachother and I am not jumping in to that mess. So, I've decided that there will be no "trying" during the end of July through August. It would totally be my luck that it would work at that point.