Paying a little bit closer attention to my body these days....
Hoping, I guess... but not so much that I will be disappointed if my period shows up again in a week.
I've been feeling a little "crampy" this week but more like "tight" or "aware of my uterus." I know that must sound a little strange, but I'm all about finding the right words to be specific about feelings. I've also decided I'm really interested in looking up thing I will need in preparation for pregnancy and beyond as well as being into birthing documentaries. The Business of Being Born was awesome. If there is ever any movie to get someone amped up on homebirth, this is the one (or maybe for some- the exact opposite).
To the matter at hand: I am sitting here infront of my computer at 2:10 am and don't feel the least bit like sleeping. I am eating a piece of primal strawberry cake and don't seem to be covering up that hungry feeling. Granted I had a pretty unusually early dinner and I'm bound to be hungry 8 hours later... but I felt the same way last night too on top of not being tired. Mmmmm... good cake.
I've been taking my natural fertility supplements and marking things down in my "woman's" calendar since I finally found a good app. I mark things like symptoms of bloating or cramping or fatigue or for tonight and last- insomnia. Well hey, doesn't two at least seem the start of a pattern?
So I googled sleeplessness... and google finished the rest of "during early pregnancy." Clearly, I was not the only one wondering unless someone rigged all my computers to bring up all things baby related.
It seems like it is a pretty common thing to be feeling this way even before knowing if I am pregnant or not.
So, I'm thinking we'll see "what the weekend brings" or doesn't bring.
Alrighty.... gotta go back upstairs and toss around while the husband and dogs snore away. Putting my head where my feet would go and looking out the window proved to be the most comfortable.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Getting ready and Trying
I've been trying to get pregnant since November 2011. How naive we were to think that as soon as we started trying, it would work. It has been 5 months and nothing seems to be going right.... not to mention my impregnator is 2000 miles away. It has been a frustrating and confusing time which has left me in a rather indifferent mood about the whole thing. So, in the spirit of optimism, I am just taking a look at the important things.
During the first month of trying and hoping and naiveté I was eating completely primal and then some. No coffee (not even decaf), no dairy, no grains of any kind, regular and large doses of fish oil, usual vitamins plus folic acid, extra veggies, no fruit and only organic and/or antibiotic and hormone-free and grass-fed meats and animal products- was tough but necessary and actually dropped off some pounds. Then my period came and I drank coffee and ate pizza and mac 'n' cheese and anything I wanted because damned if it didn't matter anyway. So, for the last 5 months I have been eating what I want, when I want. But it wasn't bad enough to give my primal-adjusted system too much grief (mind you, I have been eating primally for a year- 80-85% on and 20-15% cheats). Really it has been not such bad stuff and then pretty bad about twice a week. Now that my husband has let my rebelliousness go for so long and been inadvertantly tempted by my indiscretion, he has teamed up with me for a once-a-week cheat. I also decided that I will not torture myself unnecessarily until I pee on a stick and see a plus-sign. Believe me, I have peed on a lot of sticks. Yes, they were the right kind.
I am back on coffee but I have been smoke-free since February of 2011. This was a decision by me to prepare my body for a baby by ridding it of the biggest toxin I enjoyed- cigarette smoke. Don't get me wrong, I still really want to smoke. The urge is greater since I've been unsuccessful at this pregnancy thing and all kinds of "what is wrong with me? are all my eggs gone? am I unable to have children?" thoughts are creeping around. Unfortunately, my part of the wedding agreement was that there would be no wedding unless I quit smoking. That's okay, I told him that when I am 90 and he is gone I will start up again.
So, before the wedding happened (Aug. 6th, 2011) I was really stressed out. I'm sure everyone says that. No joke, I was stressed enough to induce my period a week early ON MY WEDDING NIGHT. Funny how when I was having the girls cinch me into my dress I even remarked that it was tighter than before and I felt like I was going to start my period. Well, at least I got through the ceremony without having to waddle down the aisle in an emergency-like situation.
After that, we were off to Europe for a some-what stressful honeymoon for 5 weeks. As soon as we got back we got ready to move to New York from Colorado. By getting ready I mean minor house-work and trying to find renters. Did I mention it was to take on the added stress of starting a business?
So, needless to say, my cycle has not been all that regular... in fact, I wonder if I even ovulate anymore...
Between the crazy stress roller-coaster of the last 9 months, change of moving from 11,000 feet to sea-level and my love-hate relationship with CrossFit (I was not an athletic person until I found out I would be wearing a wedding dress)... I think it's safe to say that my body has been retaliating. Rightly so.
Now I am in a good place, besides being 2000 miles from a key factor in the process. Life is slowing to a comfortable pace, the business is doing well enough to alleviate stress of future financial issues, I am pretty much through with all my rebellious eating and I am still doing CrossFit (hey, guess what? that IS our business). I think that I can expect some good stuff to happen soon. By the way, I am still taking folic acid and larger amounts of fish oil. I also decided to help myself to some fertility vitamin supplements: FertilAid and FertileCM.
All that being said, I stumbled across this helpful article by Mark Sisson this evening. Okay, I think I might be down with eating liver... as long as I can concoct some sort of primal crackers to put it on like a spread.
During the first month of trying and hoping and naiveté I was eating completely primal and then some. No coffee (not even decaf), no dairy, no grains of any kind, regular and large doses of fish oil, usual vitamins plus folic acid, extra veggies, no fruit and only organic and/or antibiotic and hormone-free and grass-fed meats and animal products- was tough but necessary and actually dropped off some pounds. Then my period came and I drank coffee and ate pizza and mac 'n' cheese and anything I wanted because damned if it didn't matter anyway. So, for the last 5 months I have been eating what I want, when I want. But it wasn't bad enough to give my primal-adjusted system too much grief (mind you, I have been eating primally for a year- 80-85% on and 20-15% cheats). Really it has been not such bad stuff and then pretty bad about twice a week. Now that my husband has let my rebelliousness go for so long and been inadvertantly tempted by my indiscretion, he has teamed up with me for a once-a-week cheat. I also decided that I will not torture myself unnecessarily until I pee on a stick and see a plus-sign. Believe me, I have peed on a lot of sticks. Yes, they were the right kind.
I am back on coffee but I have been smoke-free since February of 2011. This was a decision by me to prepare my body for a baby by ridding it of the biggest toxin I enjoyed- cigarette smoke. Don't get me wrong, I still really want to smoke. The urge is greater since I've been unsuccessful at this pregnancy thing and all kinds of "what is wrong with me? are all my eggs gone? am I unable to have children?" thoughts are creeping around. Unfortunately, my part of the wedding agreement was that there would be no wedding unless I quit smoking. That's okay, I told him that when I am 90 and he is gone I will start up again.
So, before the wedding happened (Aug. 6th, 2011) I was really stressed out. I'm sure everyone says that. No joke, I was stressed enough to induce my period a week early ON MY WEDDING NIGHT. Funny how when I was having the girls cinch me into my dress I even remarked that it was tighter than before and I felt like I was going to start my period. Well, at least I got through the ceremony without having to waddle down the aisle in an emergency-like situation.
After that, we were off to Europe for a some-what stressful honeymoon for 5 weeks. As soon as we got back we got ready to move to New York from Colorado. By getting ready I mean minor house-work and trying to find renters. Did I mention it was to take on the added stress of starting a business?
So, needless to say, my cycle has not been all that regular... in fact, I wonder if I even ovulate anymore...
Between the crazy stress roller-coaster of the last 9 months, change of moving from 11,000 feet to sea-level and my love-hate relationship with CrossFit (I was not an athletic person until I found out I would be wearing a wedding dress)... I think it's safe to say that my body has been retaliating. Rightly so.
Now I am in a good place, besides being 2000 miles from a key factor in the process. Life is slowing to a comfortable pace, the business is doing well enough to alleviate stress of future financial issues, I am pretty much through with all my rebellious eating and I am still doing CrossFit (hey, guess what? that IS our business). I think that I can expect some good stuff to happen soon. By the way, I am still taking folic acid and larger amounts of fish oil. I also decided to help myself to some fertility vitamin supplements: FertilAid and FertileCM.
All that being said, I stumbled across this helpful article by Mark Sisson this evening. Okay, I think I might be down with eating liver... as long as I can concoct some sort of primal crackers to put it on like a spread.
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